Will The Real Carl Please Stand Up

One of the best things about having friends is that they know things you don't. You can learn from their life experiences, they can tell you how to solve problems that are beyond you, and obviously vice versa.

They can also show you Youtube videos you haven't run into on Stumbleupon yet. In this instance, I'm going to credit the Andy with showing me Llamas With Hats.

To the psychos who gave us Carl and the effeminate Paul, I salute you. To the people who haven't yet watched the video, allow me to redirect you here.

As a heads up to those of you reading this, some cough "renowned individual" going by the name of Harold Camping has come out and informed the world that the world is going to end. Soon, in fact, so all of you who have been wondering will finally get to find out what that will be like. So, if you all manage to hold onto your hats until Saturday- yes, THIS saturday, as in May 21, 2011- then all your questions will be answered.

I am myself a little skeptical about the whole debacle, though. My first reason can be found in Matthew 24:36: "But about the day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father." God flat out tells everyone that no one is going to know when the world is going to end. He also says that people are going to be proclaiming His arrival claiming to have been inspired, or something like that, but don't listen to them. It's true, he says that. Go check the chapter for yourselves.

My second big reason is that Camping has already bungled predicting the end of the world before.

That having been said, I suppose choosing to believe him or not is up to the individual. Although if for some reason you do decide to believe him, I would suggest not going out and selling all of your earthly possessions like so many other people have done... just, you know, on the off chance that he didn't quite do it right this time either.

It's Punny: You Will Disclose Everything

One of the requirements for having a well rounded education, according to Asbury, is taking three semesters of a world language.

Since the level of inadequacy in the Needham school system's french departments was incomprehensibly high, the 6 YEARS of French I had taken only managed to test me out of the first semester. So, I had to sign on for french once again.

One of the many forms of suffering inflicted by this obligation is a certain nefarious online testing application known as Tell Me More.

My first experience with TMM went a little like this:

It was miserable.

First, the program refused to let me sign in. Right off the bat, terrible first impression. It then proceeded to deny the authenticity of my school provided account number, and refused to let me check the assignments I was supposed to do, and the voice authentification didn't work properly, and the audio clips wouldn't play, and I was rapidly getting to the point where I was entirely ok with never having to see it again.

Hours of misery passed as I helplessly floundered against the onslaught of uncooperative programs.

My word of advice to everyone out there: no matter how awesome and fun you might have managed to convince yourself the french language is, there is nothing, I repeat: NOTHING in the whole of creation that would warrant taking it as a course (or God forbid a major) here at Asbury. Tell Me More has ruined foreign communication for me even more than Mme Mirabile, my high school french teacher, ever could have dreamed of.

And that's not even possible. Madame was terrible. But that's the only way to fully convey my distain for this.... this abomination.

Status Update

I had the weirdest dream last night.

Since I've never trained to be able to remember dreams, which apparently is something you can do, most of it was lost in my panic this morning when I remembered I had a meeting with one of my teachers. That having been said, there is still enough of it left for me to question the mental integrity of my subconscious.

Uh.. meaning I think I'm crazy when I sleep.

Basically, in my dream, there was this little girl getting attacked by a bunch of older people- they were probably in like their mid 20s. I can't recall most of what happened, but I remember that right at the very end of the dream the little girl had been cornered, and the other people were closing in all sinister like...

...so she pulled out a pistol and shot all of them. The end. Seriously.

Then a loud, disembodied voice proclaimed: "AND THAT'S WHY YOU HOLSTER YOUR GUN, IT SCARES AWAY THE TERRORISTS."

...

...what?

For starters, none of those people were terrorists. Sure, they were definitely creepy, but not terrorists- in fact, the closest thing to a terrorist would be the little girl who KILLED EVERYONE.

Secondly, nothing in this dream had anything to do with "holstering" your gun. In no way could that message apply to what happened.

None of this dream made any sense at all. I mean, falling-to-your-death dreams kind of make sense, they have something to do with fear and apprehension. Then flying dreams work too, since everyone secretly wants to be able to fly, and then there's your minds ability to ignore physics on a subconscious level and stuff like that...

But seriously, this one just baffles me.

OOO It's Mysterious

A bit of an update from when I last posted: I've embarked on Project VI with a friend of mine from back home. You could probably figure it out if you're extremely crafty (and good with the internet).

Speaking of the internet, I think if you're reading this then chances are you have been acquainted with it pretty well by now. If anything, the internet is an all-reaching, fascinating tool that helps prove once and for all that everyone is pretentious when talking about others behind their backs.

Since I try to not be too much of a terrible person, though (barring my flagrant disregard for consistent posting) I typically use the internets for more constructive purposes.

Namely, not getting any of my work done.

The easiest way for me to do that is pretty simple, actually-

- just spend dozens, if not hundreds of hours picking through the vast reaches of cyberspace, only looking at topics you decide you're interested in.

For example, I learned that out there is someone who made a laser gun. Think like a star wars blaster that looks like something the Apple company would make, and then point it at something and it burns a hole in it for you. A straight up LASER GUN.

The girls probably don't care, but guys... I mean, come on. That's cool.

The other main thing I've found stumbleupon is good for is finding web comics. A word to the wise: if you plan on getting any work done in the next, oh, 4-600 hours, I would legitimately skip this next paragraph.

I now have several web comics that I follow pretty religiously, and they are as follows in no particular order:

1. Dr. McNinja

2. Dinosaur Comics

3. Boxer Hockey (this one hasn't updated in a couple of weeks though- the author is working on an xbox game, or something)

4. Brawl in the Family

5. Surviving the World (not so much a comic, but it's comparably entertaining)

6. XKCD

7. Awkward Zombie

8. Hark! A Vagrant!

9. Super Effective

10. Chainsaw Suit

...and a couple of rather obscure ones, but I don't really follow them so I've left them off.

I'm confident in the fact that at least one of the people who read this (especially you, Andy) won't be able to sleep for a couple of days- seeing as you now have more or less 10,000 comics to go out and read.

The 12 Days of Christmas

Day 12: Something You Can't Leave Your House Without

For me, this one is really obvious. It can't be anything other than my glasses.

Without them, I can't see hardly at all, especially at night. I am effectively a useless object.

I'm on spring break though so that's all you get. It's kind of hard to elaborate more than that, anyway.

A Long and Difficult Journey

This is how the last two days of my life were: I had to stay in the back part of a box truck for several hours, which was freezing. Then I went to a film shoot where I was specifically told to "not touch anything" and to "just stay out of the way". That was immediately followed by another several hour truck ride (freezing compartment, again) where at pretty much the crack of dawn Presto, Ian, Daniel and I unloaded a bunch of filming gear for someone I don't know.

Get back in the truck. Still freezing. Drive to the place where Presto works over the summer to exchange the truck for his car. Get to meet someone he knows and hang out at their house for about an hour.

Get back into the car behind the drivers seat- feel incredibly cramped. Resign yourself to this fate since all of the other seats are filled with either peoples stuff, Ian, or Presto. Realize that both of the cars other occupants like driving with the windows down and the sun roof open.

Remain cold for the next 13 hours. Try to complain as little as possible about it. Change positions every 20 minutes or so because you're beginning to realize that no matter which way you sit, it doesn't work. You could be upside down in the car and you will still not fit in the space you have.

Arrive at Jordan's house in North Carolina at about 2:45 in the morning, technically day 3 of your trip. Almost fall out of the car. Get unpacked, brush your teeth, and get ready for bed in a room where both the air conditioning and the fan is running.

Fail to discern how to turn either off. Begin to resent all things with temperatures below 75 degrees. Decide that you're going to do Day Eleven because you're a terrible slacker.

Day 11: Favorite TV shows

I honestly don't have very many shows that I like. I just don't watch a whole lot of tv, that's just how I grew up.

That having been said,

I was introduced to Top Gear by the swim team here. It's essentially a show about cars, done by the three people in the image.

No one really knows who the Stig is. It's pointless trying to figure it out, the producers just lie in the credits anyway.

Some things I have learned from watching Top Gear:

1. America is good for almost nothing. We are also depressingly stupid in the eyes of British people.

2. Albania is also useless- in their case, however, they're also evil.

3. Reliant Robins are both hilarious and totally unreliable.

4. The Bugatti Veyron is, essentially, the best car ever made.

5. The way that Jeremy Clarkson says things are the best or worst "in the world" is excellent.

...and the list goes on.

I guess it's not much of a girl show, so most females should steer clear of it because they don't know how to really appreciate what the show is trying to do. If you're a guy, though, go for it- I recommend it highly.

Decaphobia

Day 10: Something You're Afraid Of

Apparently I'm afraid of deadlines. Clearly this is not actually day 10, that was like a week and a half ago. Check out the new poll, by the way.

Something I'm afraid of though? Hmm.

Oh, here's a good one: I'm afraid of cars sometimes.

I even know where the fear came from, it was my parents. They always taught me, perhaps a little bit more than absolutely necessary, that I should never get into the car with strangers. You know, kidnappers and rapists and all that.

See, they were right, it's important to not do that- but problems arose when I started to assume that every car I didn't immediately recognize was filled with murderous child-snatchers.

I managed to keep this whole mental ordeal under control, but even now if a car pulls up next to me on the sidewalk- even if it's parking, and even if it looks like this:

my mind will try to convince me that I'm actually seeing this-and I'm not kidding, I seriously do get tense and ready to fight anyone who comes out of the car if they start coming for me. It's an automatic response. I mean it when I say it could even be my parents in the car and until I see it's them I'm in standby/attack mode.

So there you have it. If you want to play sick mind games with me, pull up next to me in cars I don't recognize. It'll set me on edge.

Although I doubt it would be worth the trouble.

I'm going to take a break from this

I have done more posts in fewer days than ever before, and my brain is taxed. Writers block for me accumulates, and it's like a gigantic wall of frustration and rage right now, so...

Sorry. Check back in a couple of days, I'll keep going with the 30 + 1 day challenge then.

Yeah, I know, I'm slacking

But I have a pretty good reason to.

See, I have to write about another guy to complete my favorite persons thing, but there are legitimately several people I could choose. So I'm going to take the wussy way out and have you decide for me! :)

Meaning that there's another one of those polls stuck to the side of my blog, with a list of names. Pick who you want to hear about the most.

Now I digress, to the other half of the post (that I should have done a few days ago):

THE LADIES

First and foremost, there is this girl:

Everyone should have their "go-to" person, who they can talk to about everything, do anything with, and sometimes make a horrific fool of yourself around. Cali is my go-to girl.

Have I done an official bio of her? I don't think so.

Obviously if I know her and she's not from Needham, that means she's a swimmer. She's technically a distance swimmer since she swam the 1000, the 1650, the 500 and relays all year, but secretly she really wants to be a sprinter- meaning she'd swim both the 100 and the 1000 free, which is rather unusual (Also, by "secretly" I mean she has been openly plotting to re-train herself for a while now).

Swimmer jargon, sorry.

She's really hard to describe in writing, for some reason... at least in terms of her personality. I could certainly make a whole slew of short person jokes (she's the second shortest swimmer Asbury has, at about 5'4"- meaning she barely comes up to my chin), but that normally means I'd get a fist buried in my stomach for being "mean".

That all having been said, she is my first and best college friend.

I mean, yeah we have our disagreements about certain things, and I'm almost sure she thinks I'm a raging idiot, but somehow she tolerates me enough to hang out. I'm pretty grateful for that.

A couple of facts about her:

She is very similar to a cat in that she is easily distracted by moving lights, like a laser pointer. This will also work, as well as this. If you find one she hasn't seen before, it's a guaranteed 10-20 minutes of no productivity for her.

She is quite possibly more addicted to coffee than Andy. For those of you who knew that Andy was on a first name basis with every employee in Needhams Starbucks, I know that might be a little hard to accept, but I stand by my observation. The girl is a coffee monster.

There's a whole lot more to her that I just don't have the time or space to get into, but since she gave me a pretty glowing review on her own page, I'm going to close the bit about her by saying she is really something else. If you don't know her, you're missing out on something really incredible. She's both passionate about and terrific at the things she does, and she is a genuine and caring person.

Who to talk about now is the problem...

You know what, I'll just do a person a day. Two is too many, and it's past midnight and I'm tired.

Rule Number Two: The Double Tap

Day 8: A Place You've Travelled To

...uhm.

I really don't think any of us would enjoy me doing a post on the places I've been, since none of them are particularly interesting. I also missed a day due to my own carelessness, so for the sake of everyone:

Day 9: Your Best Friend (include a picture!)

Here's how this is going to work: two guys, two girls. If you don't get picked, don't get offended.

Bros

How many of you remember this guy?

YAY IT'S ANDY

One of the best ways to sum up Andy is to look here. That, if nothing else, is a classic Andy thing to do.

He's a good guy, if slightly suspicious at times. The number of times he's pranked me is incredibly high, and the way in which he's gone about it is at times borderline horrifying.

Here's the best story: once, he left a statue somewhere around the back of my house. He told me it was there, but I never could find it. Admittedly at first he didn't tell me what it was, and so I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be looking for, but it's still rather embarrassing that I missed seeing it.

Initially I didn't believe that this thing ever existed. Seeing is believing, right?

Which is why he then enlisted the help of at least two other people to re-hide the thing somewhere ELSE where he hoped I would be surprised by it. Then the story repeats- he tells me it's around my house, I look, never find it.

But now there are witnesses. So I know it has to be around somewhere.

After 6 months of this going on and off, he finally takes a picture of the statue he had been hiding and sends it to me.

Ring any bells to anyone?

For those of you who are still confused, THAT is a Weeping Angel- a creature from a Dr. Who episode that only moves when you can't see it. They're incredibly terrifying, and if you haven't wet your pants recently you should go watch season 3, episode 10.

Meaning you should go do that now, so when I tell you Andy left a SOUL STEALING MONSTER somewhere in my backyard you'll be able to fully understand the gravity of how bizarre that is.

And More Bros

...will have to wait for tomorrow... I apologize for not being very diligent about this. I got caught up in real-world obligations, but "more bros" as well as the ladies will be day 9.5.

Good luck to everyone who is going to nationals, you are all incredible swimmers. Kick some butt for me.

Sept-ember (it's puntacular!)

Gah... sorry. I forgot to post this when I had finished it...

Day 7: Your Favorite Movies

Before I say or do anything related to my obligation here, I just felt compelled to tell you that I finished the first two character sketches I was talking about in the last post. Hurray!

You still don't get to see them though. Sorry.

Anyway. Movies.

Probably my favorite movie of all time is V for Vendetta.

SUCH an amazing film.

Even barring the fact that V is practically a ninja, whosever idea he was demonstrated sheer ingenuity with his formation. V is passionate, radical, compassionate, sinister, and is an even more believable "hero" than Batman. By that I mean he had no super powers (barring the possible exception of great tolerance for pain- which he still feels, mind you) and accomplishes all of his attacks in a manner that, given proper training, any of us could. He uses exclusively home made explosives, fights with swords and knives, and doesn't use a futuristic super-belt.

The soundtrack isn't overpowering, the cameramen knew what they were doing, the list goes on.

I also like it because it's a heavy action movie, but that's just my personal preference.

Hex- Witchcraft or a Prefix?

Day 6: A Picture of Something that Makes You Happy

There's a couple of different ways that this could be interpreted. Am I supposed to find a picture of something I've done? Or will could I go find an awesome picture on the internets and say THAT makes me happy?

Why not both, I suppose. It makes for a longer post.

The random picture off the internet that makes me happy is as follows:

Why does this make me happy? Because as many of my art friends can tell you, I'm frightfully obsessed with some of the themes bundled up in this image. Robotic armor, mysterious figures, underdogs, GIANT ROBOTS, action shots, the list goes on. It's almost as if this image was tailored to my specific brand of rampant art nerdery.

It was so awesome that it actually inspired me to redo, and finally finish the design for a character I've been developing for almost three years now. I finished the basic, mug shot image but I still have to do detail pictures for various other things... so it won't be posted for a while, if ever.

Sorry.

As for a normal picture that makes me happy, that would have to be this one (sorry that it's about me):

This, more than anything, is me in my element. I love working big, and I have a passion for artistic creation that rivals (or surpasses at times) my enjoyment of swimming.

Also, dragons are just really freaking awesome. It's a fact that people simply must learn to accept.

Here's what it looked like when it was done:

Unfortunately, I'm only just over 6 feet tall and so I was unable to capture a very good top-down shot of the dragon. It was pretty big when it was finished, something like 14 feet across.

Did it turn out good? Up for debate. But I enjoyed myself immensely while creating it.

"Pentagrams are for summoning the devil"

Day 5: A song to match you mood

Well, you all already know that my taste in music is one that would normally be attributed to people who are either indecisive or psychos. I also don't listen to music that "matches" my mood per say, if I'm in a bad mood I play music that counteracts it.

I mean, no sense in being depressed and then listening to stuff that's depressing. "What?" you might ask, "being more depressed is actually a TERRIBLE IDEA??"

Well, I mean, yeah. It kind of is.

At any rate, here's what I'm listening to right now.

Admittedly it's not quite as good as this, but you can't listen to just your favorites all the time. Then you'd have to go out and find more favorites since your current ones would no longer be interesting. Constantly having to one-up yourself like that would eventually become impossible.

Here's a good song that one of my friends introduced me to, by the way. You have to listen to it a couple of times all the way through for it to make sense, but trust me- it's pretty sweet.

Quartet

Day 4: Your Parents

Madre and Padre.

My parents are two of the most amazing people. They are determined, persistent, loving and caring, highly successful, and completely devoted to the four of us Keeler boys.

Not that we actually deserve it all of the time, but they manage to put up with us somehow.

My mom and dad work together- my dad runs his own business, and my mom is his accountant. Arguably, they are the two most successful small businessmen (/woman) in the country- while most of the time the news is shouting about how the recession is (or was? I can't remember if it's supposedly over yet) crushing the hopes of people trying to start their own companies, my dad basically shrugged and told me that "We didn't even notice the recession happened."

Pilot Design Group. It's basically a graphic designers guild (for lack of a better word), run by my dad and his business associate. Chances are if you use anything produced by Gillette, my dad designed it.

I'm currently trying to figure out whether or not the dog my parents bought recently is a replacement for me, however.

Basically, the time came for me to come here to Asbury. Andrew was already out of the house, and soon kid levels in the Keeler house would be down to half- meaning much more quiet.

And since I would be gone, much less chalk dust. Which gets everywhere.

But the point is that the atmosphere in our residence was taking a turn for the boring. Apparently (as I later found out) something needed to be done.

In addition, my mom had always wanted to have a dog. She had enlisted the help of us kids in constantly harassing our dad on the issue. He insisted that since we left clothes on the floors of our rooms, we were therefore incapable of taking care of a dog.

An argument that, while still totally beyond me, proved ineffective once I left. Within a couple of weeks of my departure, Brady had become a member of the family.

I guess the happily ever after is that my dad hates dogs less now, and has so far managed to coexist with our puppy without putting his boot through its head. He threatens to from time to time, but never gets around to it.

Triple

Day Three: Your First Love

I love my mom. :)

I know that is exactly not the answer ANYONE would have been looking for, but I really am not keen on talking about stuff like that. So, you're all just going to have to suffer.

Twice

Day 2: The Meaning Behind Your Blog Name

Ok, this is slightly embarrassing.

Originally, I had a different blog- it was just called "A Voice in the Void", plain and simple. It wasn't a public blog, the link to it wasn't on my facebook page, etcetera. I had created it because it was a way for me to rage and write about important things without my brothers being able to find a journal or something lying around my room.

Basically, it was supposed to me my "voice" hidden in the "void" of the internet.

It worked pretty well up until one of the people I had written about decided one day to google their name. So they did, and surprise! Up popped the post I had written about them.

Now, before you all judge me for being weird about people, let me clarify: I only wrote about people who I was friends with, and I wrote about them for a specific purpose. I was trying to record all of the life lessons they had (sometimes inadvertently) taught me.

But the problem was, those posts were supposed to be private- and now they weren't. So once I found out that the cat was out of the jar, I locked down A Voice in the Void and closed it permanently.

Truth be told, I didn't really need it anymore either. I'm a much happier person with high school being a thing of the past. So, I'm remaking my blog, but only it serves a different purpose. Instead of venting about things that bother me, I just laugh at myself and my world and sometimes appreciate the amazing people I'm surrounded by.

Yeah, this will probably have been the most serious post you'll find in here. Sorry that it lacks entertainment value, but it was what was called for! TOTALLY not my fault.

Once

Day One: Introduce yourself, with a picture, and 15 interesting facts about yourself.

You know, to be brutally honest (I haven't checked) I seriously cannot remember if I ever actually talked about myself on this blog before.

I guess I just don't like talking about myself. I'm much better at making fun of myself.

That having been said, though, I have a rule about pictures of me: and that is that all of them are terrible. I despise almost every picture of me that's ever been taken- the exception is my senior portrait, but there are no copies of that online.

Basically, I'm not doing the picture bit, because it would make me sad.

However, since I'm now obligated to do the other one, here are 15 facts about Brian Keeler.

1. College has taught me that eating peanut butter straight out of the jar is both acceptable and EXCELLENT.

2. I'm not actually 6'2". Since I feel like height should be measured in cats, I'm actually 7 and 2/5 cats tall.

3. I lose socks more often than anything else. I have no idea why.

4. According to Daniel Bowman, I'm a blue/ white personality type. I unfortunately can't remember what that means, but (http://forum.tufat.com/archive/index.php/t-18989.html) should help.

5. I love swimming, but I hate lifeguarding. Being a lifeguard is possibly the single most horrifying way to bore a person to death.

6. The easiest way to make me hate you forever is to make fun of my artwork. It's unpleasant for everyone though, so let's not give it a try.

7. Also, it is considered a borderline treasonous to compare me to characters from The Office. Thou shalt not. That means you, Collegian people.

8. Yes, I have drank ketchup straight before. No, it was not as bad as the last time I went to Taco Bell.

9. I am mildly afraid of Chinese food. I wouldn't be able to tell you why, and I admit it's irrational, but still.

10. Yes, I have buddy showered before. No, it was not a decision being made on my part.

11. Even though I openly refer to Massachusetts as things like a "cultural wasteland" and "the gates of Hell", I actually would rather be there right now than here in Wilmore. Partially because I miss my family and friends, but mostly because I want to see my puppy again.

Oh, that reminds me. According to the poll I had up a little while ago, no one cares about the mens swimming team (sorry guys), only one person cares about the girls team, and everyone else wants to hear about Brady or Matt. I'll probably bio Brady first though, since he's cuter.

Anyway, getting off topic is bad, so

12. I am either amazing or terrible at hide and seek.

I guess that one warrants a bit of a story, too. Sometimes after church services back home, the kids would want to play hide and seek from time to time, and I was typically among the last two found- either that or I was NEVER found in spite of the fact that people would keep entering and re-entering the room I was hiding in.

So no, it wasn't one of those instances where they just left me hiding and went and did something else. I know you were thinking that.

However, once at Camp Good News (read: Jesus camp), the entire boys camp decided that we were going to play one colossal game to decide who was the best ninja among us. I figured since I was the master at all things not-being-found, this would be a piece of cake for me.

I could not have been more wrong. I later learned that this massive game was actually a camp tradition, and there were certain places the seekers would ALWAYS check first.

One of those places was where I was hiding, underneath an old abandoned rowboat out in the woods. It seemed like the perfect place.

The problem was that the counselors finished their counting and headed straight for me. I was found less than two minutes into a game that would ultimately take two hours.

The best part of the story is that, since I was the first one found, I got to be publicly humilliated for my shameful ineptitude. I had to stand there (with the whole camp watching- and laughing) while the counselors threw buckets of sand, water, and barbecue sauce at me.

I had sand in my hair for days, and smelled like bbq for over a week. I greatly disliked dogs during that time.

13. I get distracted really easily.

14. My achilles heel in terms of buying things is t-shirts. I love them.

15. About half of the dreams I have had and can remember involve someone (it's never me) getting assassinated. Either that, or I mysteriously KNOW that they're going to be killed, and I have to stop it somehow.

Also, I apologize for starting the 30+1 day challenge and then doing nothing for a few days. Internet at conference was non existent.

720 Hour Challenge + One Extra Random Day

How many of you all remember Cali?

Well, she's decided that I've been far too lazy with posting, which is true. I've hit this rut where I literally cannot think of ANYTHING to do for a good post.

So, to correct both issues, she's challenged me to a 30 day challenge she found. There's only one small problem with it I noticed when looking over the things to write about each day...

Why would you issue a 30 day challenge to bloggers, but include a day "0"? Is that not clearly a 31 day challenge? WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE TRYING TO DECEIVE ME.

Mind game hijinks aside, though, it's pretty straight forward. Every day, you look at the list, and do a (potentially shorter than usual) post about the topic they've given you.

DAY ZERO: the 30 day challenge explanation and description.

Conveniently enough, I've already done that.

So... ok. I hadn't read what I was supposed to do beforehand. That took much less time than I anticipated.

How about this: to compensate, I'll show you a few of the awesome wallpapers I've found on the internets lately.

Also, since certain members of my audience think that non-humorous blogs are irrelevant now (*cough*), I'll make a point of not just being like "I'm Brian and this is my favorite type of cat."

Stay tuned. The next many posts could be very interesting...

...but they also might not be, I honestly have no idea. I haven't read the rest of the topics yet myself.

I think the safest thing for all of us would be to go into this with our expectations set to "mediocrity".

Hiatus

I'm going to officially close down Remake: A Voice in the Void for a week or so. Why?

My two swim coaches, Dorothy and Gary, are leaving Asbury. And because of that, I'm depressed, and so I really can't try to write funny things when all I really want to do is just lie on the ground and stare up at the ceiling.

If anyone out there reading this is willing to, I'd like to ask you to pray for us. The Asbury swim team. We're going from the strongest the program has ever been to losing the Division 1 coach of the year and his amazing wife. Gary and Dorothy are untouchable when it comes to their skill and experience as coaches- they've been doing it for longer than any two of us swimmers combined have been alive. If ever there was a time of uncertainty facing us, it's now... and we're going to need all the help and encouragement we can get.

Half Ninja, Half Supercomputer

This is going to be a tribute to probably the single greatest mind I have ever encountered- Andrew.

That's the truth, there's no other way to say it. Some people are especially good at one thing: like skateboarding, or public speaking, or rock climbing, and that's their claim to fame. Some people are well rounded, being decent at several things without standing out much in any area in particular.

Andrew puts all of these people to shame with his seemingly infinite capacity for knowledge and its application. In high school, I was often finding myself going to my teachers for help and getting frustrated when they just parroted their in class lesson- the thing that had confused me in the first place. My response to their ineptitude was going to Andrew. Remember that he's only a year older than me when I say that he probably understood most of the scientific curriculum better than the people teaching it. He's capable of breaking ideas down into their simplest, most basic parts, and reassembling them in a manner that almost forces the lightbulb in your head to go on. It often feels like you invented the topic yourself afterwards.

I honestly don't think I've done him justice quite yet. To try to put things in better perspective: my grampa (dad's dad) is a physicist. He lives in a retirement complex (it's not assisted living or anything, but that sounds better than "place you can find lots of old people") where he has his own lab he's made in a back room. He still does all kinds of experiments with equipment that transcends anything I will ever be capable of understanding.

Basically, Grampa Keeler knows his stuff.

Andrew argues with this man about physics- he argues with a TOP NOTCH PHYSICIST- for FUN. THAT IS HOW SMART HE IS.

The only argument I ever beat him in was when he tried to convince me that you could turn a square into a circle if you fold the corners enough times. I'm pretty sure he still thinks he's right, even though in this case he's not, but you get the point. Never go head to head with Andrew, because you will be humiliated.

Oh, and he's also training himself to be able to use swords.

He owns two training swords, a katana and a longsword, both double handed. At first I thought he was being ridiculous- after all, he had bought a textbook-sized training manual on how to use them, and was reading it religiously- but then I realized, wait.

Andrew knows how to sword fight. I definitely have never known how to sword fight. He can now beat me senseless as if his arms were about 7 feet long, something I could obviously never compete with.

I "dueled" him once, too... and not surprisingly was handed my butt on a platter, figuratively speaking. It's a much more intricate- and difficult- art than I would have anticipated.

Not to mention the practice swords are heavy, and I have the hand-eye coordination of a squirrel made of chocolate. Messy, very confused, and easily defeated.

Don't get me wrong though- Andrew and I, we're an interesting pair. He's 100% intelligence, I'm the creative and artistic one. He thinks about things logically, I come at arguments from a more round-about approach. I'm always right, but he's always right too. We're mentally like black and white.

That doesn't hurt anything, though. Probably my top ten best/ most interesting conversations were debates or arguments with him. Both of us are convinced that our approach or opinion is the best, and the only way the other is going to see that is if we beat our point of view into the others head.

Verbally, of course. :)

No one comes close to him. He's not the most outspoken person, but I think we compliment each other the best.

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I'm going to take a break from bios for the next post, just to mix things up a bit. I've done a bunch of them lately.

I'm wondering who you want me to do the next one on, though. Ooo, look up there! A poll! You should totally vote on it. Do it. I dare you.

Weather Forecast of MAGICAL EXCELLENCE

I promise you all I have absolutely no time this weekend for anything, except for right now (12:30 at night- hardly a good time for doing anything) but on Monday I will start working on a bio for Andrew unless someone tells me to put it off for something they think is better.

Also, on a slightly personal note, I think I like doing bios. Anyway, goodnight world, see you next week.

People Person

One of the things that people have requested I do is more bios on my college buddies. Apparently those are interesting? If they're not, again, I won't know unless people TELL ME.

So, since no one has told me otherwise, today I'm going to do Kelsey Huck. I'm sure I've mentioned her in earlier posts, but just as a reminder:

Kelsey is one of the few people who I'm friends with outside of the swim team. Admittedly the only reason I know her is because she was a part of my Archways group (Team Grit ftw), but that doesn't diminish how awesome she is at all. SWIMMERS AREN'T THE ONLY COOL PEOPLE OUT THERE.

One of the things I found out right off the bat is that she likes- LOVES- hats. She is one of those girls who becomes infatuated with almost any kind of hat, and wants to wear it even if it's yours. She will ask you nicely the first time, but after that you have to hold onto it a little more carefully: she'll steal it right off your head.

She also apparently likes my hat a LOT.

But, I mean, in the long run it's not so bad. I'm pretty sure the longest I've had her steal it is only 5 days or so. No big deal.

Lately though she has taken to getting her own hats, so I don't have to worry about losing feeling in my face anymore. To everyone back home, in case I haven't already told you, Kentucky can get freakishly cold due to wind chill.

At the end of the Archways trip, the whole crew of people was hanging out in the basement of one of the buildings on campus- sort of a "last time together" deal. I was sitting by Kelsey and Taryn when one of the other guys challenged me to speed ball. Kelsey asked if she could see my iPod while I was up playing. Sure, why not. I handed it over and proceeded to get slaughtered at the game.

After about 20 minutes of constant embarrassment, I gave up and went back to Kelsey. She was pretty excited, talking about how we had a lot of the same music and how much she liked what I had.

Now, I'm used to most people MAKING FUN of me for the music I listen to, but Kelsey hangs out with me in the Student Center and we listen to music together. I know, it's a little weird, but rapping along to In The End by Linkin Park with her was one of the more awesome parts of my week so far.

Another way that she stands out from most people is that she is a double- sided coin. Normally that would have a negative connotation, I know, but in Kelsey's case that is definitely not true. She is one part fun loving, excited, easy to tease and get teased by... and one part drop dead serious about the things that she needs to be for. It's really quite funny, because she's one of the people who laughs at me the most but also one of the first people I think of when I need advice or solace for something.

So here's to you, Kelsey! You're doing a good job. Keep up the effort :)

I Resemble That Remark

The other day in my Music and Art Appreciation class, the teacher made a joke about how idiophones (a type of instrument) made noise by violently shaking idiots.