Saturday, April 9, 2011

It's Punny: You Will Disclose Everything

One of the requirements for having a well rounded education, according to Asbury, is taking three semesters of a world language.

Since the level of inadequacy in the Needham school system's french departments was incomprehensibly high, the 6 YEARS of French I had taken only managed to test me out of the first semester. So, I had to sign on for french once again.

One of the many forms of suffering inflicted by this obligation is a certain nefarious online testing application known as Tell Me More.

My first experience with TMM went a little like this:

It was miserable.

First, the program refused to let me sign in. Right off the bat, terrible first impression. It then proceeded to deny the authenticity of my school provided account number, and refused to let me check the assignments I was supposed to do, and the voice authentification didn't work properly, and the audio clips wouldn't play, and I was rapidly getting to the point where I was entirely ok with never having to see it again.

Hours of misery passed as I helplessly floundered against the onslaught of uncooperative programs.

My word of advice to everyone out there: no matter how awesome and fun you might have managed to convince yourself the french language is, there is nothing, I repeat: NOTHING in the whole of creation that would warrant taking it as a course (or God forbid a major) here at Asbury. Tell Me More has ruined foreign communication for me even more than Mme Mirabile, my high school french teacher, ever could have dreamed of.

And that's not even possible. Madame was terrible. But that's the only way to fully convey my distain for this.... this abomination.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Status Update

I had the weirdest dream last night.

Since I've never trained to be able to remember dreams, which apparently is something you can do, most of it was lost in my panic this morning when I remembered I had a meeting with one of my teachers. That having been said, there is still enough of it left for me to question the mental integrity of my subconscious.

Uh.. meaning I think I'm crazy when I sleep.

Basically, in my dream, there was this little girl getting attacked by a bunch of older people- they were probably in like their mid 20s. I can't recall most of what happened, but I remember that right at the very end of the dream the little girl had been cornered, and the other people were closing in all sinister like... she pulled out a pistol and shot all of them. The end. Seriously.

Then a loud, disembodied voice proclaimed: "AND THAT'S WHY YOU HOLSTER YOUR GUN, IT SCARES AWAY THE TERRORISTS."


For starters, none of those people were terrorists. Sure, they were definitely creepy, but not terrorists- in fact, the closest thing to a terrorist would be the little girl who KILLED EVERYONE.

Secondly, nothing in this dream had anything to do with "holstering" your gun. In no way could that message apply to what happened.

None of this dream made any sense at all. I mean, falling-to-your-death dreams kind of make sense, they have something to do with fear and apprehension. Then flying dreams work too, since everyone secretly wants to be able to fly, and then there's your minds ability to ignore physics on a subconscious level and stuff like that...

But seriously, this one just baffles me.

Friday, April 1, 2011

OOO It's Mysterious

A bit of an update from when I last posted: I've embarked on Project VI with a friend of mine from back home. You could probably figure it out if you're extremely crafty (and good with the internet).

Speaking of the internet, I think if you're reading this then chances are you have been acquainted with it pretty well by now. If anything, the internet is an all-reaching, fascinating tool that helps prove once and for all that everyone is pretentious when talking about others behind their backs.

Since I try to not be too much of a terrible person, though (barring my flagrant disregard for consistent posting) I typically use the internets for more constructive purposes.

Namely, not getting any of my work done.

The easiest way for me to do that is pretty simple, actually-

- just spend dozens, if not hundreds of hours picking through the vast reaches of cyberspace, only looking at topics you decide you're interested in.

For example, I learned that out there is someone who made a laser gun. Think like a star wars blaster that looks like something the Apple company would make, and then point it at something and it burns a hole in it for you. A straight up LASER GUN.

The girls probably don't care, but guys... I mean, come on. That's cool.

The other main thing I've found stumbleupon is good for is finding web comics. A word to the wise: if you plan on getting any work done in the next, oh, 4-600 hours, I would legitimately skip this next paragraph.

I now have several web comics that I follow pretty religiously, and they are as follows in no particular order:
3. Boxer Hockey (this one hasn't updated in a couple of weeks though- the author is working on an xbox game, or something)
5. Surviving the World (not so much a comic, but it's comparably entertaining)

...and a couple of rather obscure ones, but I don't really follow them so I've left them off.

I'm confident in the fact that at least one of the people who read this (especially you, Andy) won't be able to sleep for a couple of days- seeing as you now have more or less 10,000 comics to go out and read.