Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Down and out, but only kind of

Let me apologize in advance. I'm not feeling particularly well today.

Most everyone tries to put on a happy facade for the public, because for one reason or another they feel like they need to conceal what is going on inside themselves. Such a facade is hardly, if ever, penetrated by other people unless they are extremely trustworthy.

Since you, my dear reader, have shown an interest in my person by continuing to read this post in spite of the fact that (as you've probably guessed) there will not be any attempts at funny college stories, I will let down my guard to you.

Let me start off by saying that, among other things, people you want to be special in your life should be treated with the utmost and unceasing care. Going about things the wrong way or at the wrong times can often lead to disaster.

Not everyone is willing to forgive everything.

While taking that thought into account, think to yourself about how you want to spend the following years of your life in terms of those people: I would suggest thinking about long term benefits, as opposed to rushing headlong into things.

I offer this advice because I have recently failed to do so, and such as it is I will miss out on what could have been a solid friendship. Possibly more. But such as things are that possibility is lost.

Another troublesome thought that has been growing on me is that I think I'm the only one here who hasn't been in contact with their family. Most of the time that I've been hanging out with my friends here, one of them has had to take a couple of steps aside and answer a phone call from their mom or dad or the like.

I haven't received any such calls.

It was almost comical, last year when we would tease my dad about wanting to get in touch with Andrew all the time. A day didn't go by without him constantly checking skype to see if Andrew was online, or texting Andrew to set up a video-chat session, etc etc.

Needless to say more then a few days has gone by and my family is nowhere to be heard. That being said, it may be partially my fault... I spent most of my time during the end of my summer off with my Needham friends, and other circumstances in my life have caused me to strongly appreciate my individuality. I wouldn't be surprised if this awful silence is what my dad meant when he told me before he left that "We'll try to not hover over you."

Well... there's hovering, but then there's also checking in. Hovering is obnoxious, but the latter often helps one such as myself with their frequently suffering self-confidence. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I like to feel loved, and silence makes for a poor messenger.

...That's about it. I hope this doesn't turn any of you off from reading my future posts, but I just feel like pretending my entire life is happy go lucky when it isn't would be unfair to you. Unrealistic expectations never lead anywhere good.

I love you, Mom, Dad, Andrew, Stephen, Matt. I miss you, way down here in Kentucky. I think of you five daily.

...good night.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for writing this. That first point you made is going to make me rethink what I really value so I don't screw up my senior year. I'm sorry you're going through a tough time :(

    I'm going to go text you so you don't feel unwanted!