Saturday, September 11, 2010

It's Irrational, I Know

Yes, I am slightly afraid of orange candy. Or for that matter, almost anything orange flavored. Does it make sense? No, but it's still true.

Orange colored things are scary.

I don't really remember very well when this fear first began per say, but there are a couple of possible reasons I've narrowed it down to. They are as follows:

I probably can't speak for the entirety of humanity when I say that Ernie haunts the dream of little children, but you can tell by the way his soulless eyes pierce your soul that he's probably not just interested in playing with rubber ducks.

You can run, but Ernie always knows where you're going so he'll be there when you arrive. THERE IS NO ESCAPE.

Then there are tigers. My brother, Stephen-

- that's Stephen- but anyway, tigers are his favorite animal. The background on his computer is a tiger. It's a pretty cool picture, admittedly, but... I mean...
Am I the only one who seems to think that tigers are always that one mental step ahead of us? Because that's the look they're always giving. They just sort of watch when you're looking at them in the zoo. Other animals normally do their own thing, but no- not tigers. They just lie there, eyeing you, and they're like "Ah, yes... He's the one who picks his nose even though he's 20! Gregory, did you hear about that one time he fell trying to catch his dog? T'was a very good show, I heard. Let us fetch some tea!"
Finally, and possibly the most terrifying, is some freaky kid. There has probably not been a more annoying creation ever to laugh maniacally at humanity, but regardless I feel compelled to share. I apologize if this makes any of you cry, and I hope that you'll forgive me for letting this horror show its face.

If you know anything about Naruto, it's that he drives any competent human to the brink of insanity with all of his nonsense about what he thinks ninjas should be. They should fight for their friends, and stand up for what's right! Never give up, even when you've been beaten down for the last 4 or 5 episodes by the same guy and then miraculously beat them in the end!

WRONG. Ninjas don't fight each other, they're all on the same team. Any indication otherwise is trickery of their own design. Ninjas can't get hurt. If a ninja wanted to kill someone, it would look like this:

That was slowed down considerably for dramatic effect, too.
Real people don't mess with ninjas. You can't, because it's impossible to find them. If Naruto is a ninja, then the queen of England is a burrito riding a yak.

And yet for some reason, there are people out there who are obsessed with him. THAT'S why he scares me- because he's so terrible but apparently captivating at the same time.

There you have it, that's why I'm afraid of orange stuff. There are a couple of exceptions, though- orange juice and orange sorbet are pretty good. That's it. Don't ask me why.

And..... I also drew a giant robot! I was going to work on the ninja picture some more, but I got distracted, and... this was the result.

I love me some giant robot.

I also heard something from a pretty reliable source that the Andy's guest post is almost done, so if you're still looking forward to that then rest assured- you don't have to look forward to it for as long as you did before.

Until next time, over and out.

1 comment:

  1. This is hilareous. You have a new regular reader.